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Top Priority Issue #01 November 1991
======================================
Editorial by Ozz/Excalibur
======================================
This is just a brief introduction
to the contents of the latest attempt
at an American magazine. This first
issue has been done entirely in
sequential format. Further issues
may change, it is undecided at this
point in time. If in the future you
would like to submit any articles
for Top Priority you may do so by
uploading them in sequential format
to Mysts of Avalon. The number is
common knowledge by now. The charts
are done in two parts, first of all
there is a chart based on Release
Points and secondly another based
on the Popular Vote. Afterwards you
will also find a Combined Chart,
this in effect takes each groups
place in each of the charts and
combines them to form the third
chart. I'm sure after the charts
are examined there will be those
who complain about thier posistion,
but thats life, if you want a high
standing posistion, either release
more or campaign for more votes.
I've tried to poll as many people
as possible from all sides of the
scene to improve exactness. That
pretty much sums up the explanation
of the charts. Everything else is
just news. Enjoy!
======================================
You Know Your Elite When..
by X-factor, The Ozz, & Joe Cool
======================================
- Your Girlfriend says either the
computer goes or I go and you say
"Bye!"
- When you get a punter line at 2400
baud on every board.
- Some lame demo group member leaves
you email with an account for his
0-30 H/P Wares+Demo Board with
20 Subs running C*Base at 300 baud
and 2 1541's for file transfers.
- You're awakened five times in one
night by your contacts because
thier cards are only working on
the US Sprint dial-up.
- You are greeted on some lamers
Voice Mail Box.
- You steal your parents calling
card so your contacts can give
you their latest first release.
- You only leave your room to use
the bathroom (and only if you're
not importing a game!)
- Everyday you get phonecalls from
telephone companies with names
you can't pronounce asking who's
been calling you from overseas
and every state in the U.S.
- You haven't changed clothes for
a month and flies are swarming
around your head.
- You accidentally call your mom
by one of your contacts handles.
- The sunlight hurts your eyes.
- Your mom has to call you on your
phone and do an emergency break-
thru to tell you dinner is ready.
- You find phone numbers on your
desk of people you don't even know.
- You don't recognize you friends
because you haven't seen them in
months.
- You start cussing your parents
out in multiple languages.
- Your computer friends outnumber
your real life friends 4 to 1.
- You're fucking your girlfriend
and you ask her how to turn on
the trainer mode.
- You drop out of school to import
games.
- You insist that your computer be
in the family portrait.
- The only sex you get is over the
phone.
- Your family starts calling you
by your handle.
- Your parents have to leave you
email in order to talk to you.
======================================
Interview with Sir Cyro/Nei
======================================
[TP] Give us the basic bullshit about
yourself.
[SC] I've been in the scene about
3 years, I started about the
same time as NEC. The first
board I ever got on was Garden
of Eden Hq.
[TP] What groups have you been in?
[SC] Verdict (as an At&t Hacker),
Attackers, and now NEI. I started
in the wares scene then went
to the H/P scene for awhile
and now I'm back in the wares
scene again.
[TP] Why is it when you joined NEI
South of Heaven became NEI Hq
and you don't even run the board?
[SC] Because Roy took down MBS's
board and I asked if NEI wanted
South of Heaven as their Hq.
Reign in Blood and South of
Heaven are both names of Slayer
albums.
[TP] What groups have supported South
of Heaven?
[SC] Verdict, then Verdict died,
and about two weeks later we
picked up NEI, and now we may
pick up Verdict, since they
are back, or Censor.
[TP] What did you do as a member
of Attackers?
[SC] I was just sysop of Soul Pit,
I hacked At&t's every once in
awhile, but mainly just a sysop.
[TP] Do you consider yourself elite?
[SC] I don't like that word.
[TP] Do you consider yourself a better
hacker than MBS?
[SC] Definently, I have ways of
getting At&ts without voice
hacking, by using a police
scanner and monitoring calls
made from boats.
[TP] Do you feel you are a proper
replacement for MBS?
[SC] Yea, pretty much, I didn't see
MBS! doing much, he wasn't in
the scene long enough so I didn't
he belonged in NEI.
[TP] How many cards do you hack a
week?
[SC] Depends, 4-5, on a good weekend
I can get 8-9. I only hack on
weekends.
[TP] Why is it rumors say you haven't
supplied any to NEI?
[SC] I've supplied 4 in one week.
Whoever said that can bite my
nuts!
[TP] Do you consider yourself a
hacker or a social engineer?
[SC] Both. I'm a social engineer,
but if I need codes I load up
Multi-hack and I hack them.
[TP] What do you hack?
[SC] As in dialups, you name it and
I hack it.
[TP] Is there anyone you would like
to greet?
[SC] Peter/Verdict, Nei Members,
Gene/Dominators.
[TP] Gene isn't in Dominators.
[SC] Ok, just Gene then.
[TP] Do you have a social life?
[SC] Ofcourse, I go to Night Clubs
every other night, I'm into
metal, I manage a local band
called The Soul Pit, thats where
the board name came from, I
have a very possesive girlfriend.
[TP] Whats your favorite board other
than South of Heaven?
[SC] Second to None, actually a tie
between Channel 0 and Second
to None. South of Heaven is
my favorite because I've gotten
it to where it's at.
[TP] What do you see in NEI's future?
[SC] I see them doing the same as
they are doing now, just import-
ing, I can't see anyone dropping
out, I believe NEI will be around
until there are no wares left.
[TP] What would you see in NEI's
future if you had not joined?
[SC] Probably the same thing, it's
not like I'm a big member.
[TP] Who is NEI trading with right
now?
[SC] Censor, Talent, & Legend mainly.
Talent is only 50% with us,
Bod gives us a ware if TSM can't
fix it.
[TP] Who is NEI trading with
exclusively?
[SC] Legend & Censor.
[TP] Legend also trades with EXC.
[SC] Well I guess Censor then, no
one trades exclusive with any
one anymore.
[TP] Any last comments?
[SC] I don't get along with Roy and
Thor, Roy's little threats of
blueboxing off my line doesn't
scare me. Other than that I'm
speechless.
[TP] Thanks for your time.
======================================
Interview with Mistress Kelly!
(Phone Sex Operator 1-800-877-WETT)
======================================
[TP] What is your name, measurements,
age, etc?
[PS] My name is Kelly, I have long
blonde curly hair, green eyes,
my measurements are 36C-24-36,
and I'm 22 years old.
[TP] How often do you have real sex?
[PS] Twice a day!
[TP] Do you get many perverted calls?
[PS] TONS!
[TP] What is the most perverted ones?
[PS] Dog Sex! and men who want me
to pretend to be their mother,
sister and sometimes even their
daughter.
[TP] Do you do group phone sex?
[PS] Yes, don't you?
[TP] Have you ever been phone raped?
[PS] Yes, I had a phone shoved up
my pussy one time, it was
horrible!
[TP] How long do you prefer a mans
dick to be?
[PS] All depends, size doesn't really
matter, but about 8.5-9.0 inches.
[TP] Do you like your job?
[PS] Yes, very much!
[TP] Do you have any confessions
to make?
[PS] I feel guilty sometimes about
what I do.
[TP] Do you become arroused during
phone sex?
[PS] Depends on the man.
[TP] Are you a virgin?
[PS] No.
[TP] What is the nature of most of
your calls?
[PS] Sex! and sometimes confessions.
[TP] Do you scream?
[PS] Sometimes, if it is requested.
[TP] What is the most requested sexual
activity?
[PS] Men who want me to dominate
them. So I make them call me
Mistress Kelly and ask them
if they have any toys.
[TP] Toys? Explain.
[PS] Handcuffs, hairbrush, ice cubes,
paddles, belts, dildos, vibrators
etc.
[TP] Do they have toys?
[PS] They always have something.
[TP] What do you tell them to do
with these toys?
[PS] I tell them how to shove a
hairbrush or ice cubes up their
ass or how to beat their dicks
with paddles and belts.
[TP] Do you prefer a man to wear
a condom or not?
[PS] I prefer Pure-Raw-Meat!
[TP] Do you lick assholes?
[PS] Yes, but only after a shower.
[TP] Thank you for your time.
======================================
News & Rumors
======================================
- Infocomie quit Bonzai to join DDT
- The Burglar joined Success
- Kid quit F4CG and is groupless
- Sid quit Hotline to join F4CG
- Hit'n Run dropped Sharks and is
now F4CG Whq
- Excellence is dead, The Shadow
joined Excalibur
- MBS! quit the scene, Reign in Blood
is down for good
- Sir Cyro joined NEI, South of Heaven
is now NEI Hq
- Dead Zeppelin & Thor quit Black
Reign
- Zenith is rumored to return to
the scene as of January 1st?
- Intruder quit Black Reign, the
group is now dead
- Gene quit Dominators, it is rumored
that he will join Enigma?
- Dead Zeppelin & Thor formed Glory
- Some Enigma members claim Maniac
is in the group, others say he
isn't, so until the conflict is
solved no one will really know
- Coldrake joined Glory
- Freestyle joined Talent
- Skid Row is dead, most of the
members reformed Pandora
- Syntax Terror quit the scene, The
Underground is down for good
- Skater/Censor is taking a break
from the scene, Shock will still
be released however
- Murdock quit Traitors and joined
Genesis*Project
- Victims is dead, most of the members
joined Genesis*Project
======================================
The Charts for October '91
======================================
Importing Group Charts (Releases)
(1) Excalibur 7.0 Points
(2) North East Importers 5.5 Points
(3) The Shaolin Monastery 5.0 Points
(4) Empire 2.0 Points
(5) Mirage 1.0 Points
(6) Black Reign 0.5 Points
Explanation of Release Points
Excalibur (7.0 Points) Released:
(1) Snake Mania+2 (Skid Row)
(2) Le Parc (Legend)
(3) Lords (Enigma)
(4) Tarzan Goes Ape+2 (Dominators)
(5) Mechanicus (G*P)
(6) Goldcorn Express+ (G*P)
(7) Volfied+ (Legend)
Excalibur also released The Sword
& The Rose (Codemasters) from Legend
but later found it to be a re-release.
North East Importers (5.5 Points)
(1) Rubicon 100% (G*P)
(2) Turbo Charge (Legend)
(3) Sky High Stuntman+3(Talent)
(4) The Lost Ninja+3 (Legend)
(5) Mean Machine+4 (Talent)
(6) Super Trucker+3 (Legend)
North East Importers only gained
a 1/2 point for Rubicon since it
wasn't a full 100% release.
The Shaolin Monastery (5.0 Points)
(1) Terminator 2 (Talent)
(2) CJ in the USA+2 (Talent)
(3) Chevy Chase+ (Talent)
(4) Decstone+2 (X-Ray)
(5) World Class Rugby (Talent)
A very good month for TSM.
Empire (2.0 Points) Releases:
(1) Plural+3 (Discovery)
(2) Roll Twins+ (Action)
Empire also released Zoomerang+ from
Discovery but it was a re-release
and not worthy of a point.
Mirage (1.0 Point) Released:
(1) Tetroids+3 (Hysteric)
Mirage also had the only US Release
this month with Gateway to the Savage
Empire (SSI).
Black Reign (0.5 Point) Released:
(1) Rubicon (G*P)
The Black Reign release of Rubicon
was also not 100%, but only on PAL
and some Europeans still managed
to play the game completely through
without noticing the sprite movement
bugs. Black Reign also fixed a
raster line of flicker in the game
play which NEI didn't fix.
Enigma also had a release with
Rugby - The World Cup. And Dominators
released Soccer Rival. Not a bad
month for wares. 23 European Wares
and 1 American Ware. (This obviously
does not include the large amounts
of lame label releases.)
Best Importing Group Charts (Votes)
(1) North East Importers (10 Votes)
Excalibur (10 Votes)
(3) Empire (06 Votes)
(4) The Shaolin Monastery (02 Votes)
(5) Mirage (01 Vote)
Worst American Group (Votes)
(/) Mirage (13 Votes)
Top (5) American Boards (Votes)
(1) Forum (12 Votes)
(2) 2nd to None (05 Votes)
Mysts of Avalon (05 Votes)
(4) Channel 0 (03 Votes)
Mystic Caverns (03 Votes)
Worst American Board (Votes)
(/) The Shaolin Temple (05 Votes)
Mystic Caverns (05 Votes)
Top (5) Most Liked Americans (Votes)
(1) Pudwerx (07 Votes)
(2) X-factor (06 Votes)
(3) Thor (03 Votes)
(4) Syntax Terror (02 Votes)
We'll leave it at (4) this month
since there is an excessive amount
of people with 1 vote. I also
disqualified myself from these
charts.
Top (5) Most Hated Americans (Votes)
(1) Grim Reaper (06 Votes)
(2) Thor (04 Votes)
(3) The Cure (03 Votes)
(4) Murdock (02 Votes)
Coldrake (02 Votes)
The Shadow (02 Votes)
The Extremist (02 Votes)
Best Fixer (Votes)
(/) X-factor (11 Votes)
Worst Fixer (Votes)
(/) The Extremist (07 Votes)
I only polled (29) people this month,
Next time I'll try to poll twice
as many. 18 Americans/11 Europeans.
The only people who were allowed
to vote for Best & Worst Fixer were
those with NTSC computers.
Importing Group Charts (Combined)
(1) Excalibur (10 Points)
(2) North East Importers (09 Points)
(3) The Shaolin Monastery (05 Points)
Empire (05 Points)
(5) Mirage (02 Points)
The Scale went as follows:
(1) 5 Points
(2) 4 Points
(3) 3 Points
(4) 2 Points
(5) 1 Point
Use this scale on both previous charts
and then add the points together
and you'll find you come up with
the same conclusion. Remember the
scale, it won't be printed next
month.
======================================
Not Necessarily the News
by Dead Zeppelin & The Ozz
======================================
- Coldrake's house burnt down, he
is taking contributions to rebuild,
if you have any cardboard boxes
please contact him.
- The Extremist's salmon farm
flooded, he bought a truckload
of Life Buoy Soap thinking he
could keep them from drowning
with it.
- The Burpire clan went out trick
or treating dressed up as wanna-be
knights.
- Someone suggested I do an alpha-
betical chart, so here it is:
(1) Demonix (2) Empire (3) Excalibur
(4) Glory (5) Nei (6) Tsm
Damn! Maybe we'll do better next
time.
- Someone changed the channel so
Action+Empire are without a hq.
- The Ozz barely got out of jail
in time to release this magazine.
- Empire will soon dissolve the Empire
label and stick to releasing thier
high quality games under the Burp
label.
- Horizon's local McDonalds is the
##1 Big Mac seller in the States.
That particular McDonalds chain
erected a 10 ft. bronze statue
in honor of their #1 patron.
- It is rumored that Bod has taken
ill and is in the hospital for
some unknown case of phone vd.
It is also rumored that he has
a bad case of tendonitis in his
right hand.
- Zsolt went out on Halloween dressed
as Ronald McDonald.
- Sir Cyro was picked up by the
U.S.Coast Gaurd for piloting an
illegal vessel in U.S. waters.
The detailed report listed his
inventory as 1 Police Scanner,
1 Hasbro Rubber Duckie Float Tube,
1 Cordless Telephone. He was later
charged with telephone anarchy
and a violation of marine safety
codes, also picked up out of the
water was a soggy list of inter-
national telephone numbers. The
matter is still under investigation.
- TBB made a new friend during his
latest jail visit, it is rumored
he is trying to get "Otis" into
the scene.
- Horizon gave out his extra happy
toys to Halloween trick or treaters.
- Richie/Enigma installed a new roof
on Powerplant's house, it still
leaks so PWP is taking him to court.
- X-factor's girlfriend dumped him
when she found him in bed with
his computer.
- Skandle is #1 on the KKK's ten
most wanted list.
- The Ozz's girlfriend LaFita dumped
him when she found out his wasn't
really black. It seems they had
only conversed over the phone which
explains the mixup.
- Peter was arrested for playing
with his name.
- The Shadow is inactive until he
finds a new computer since his
mom became annoyed at his constant
phone use and used her crowbar
on his computer.
- The Ozz was asked to guest star
on the Dukes of Hazard reunion
special.
- X-factor finally harvested his
potato crop and bought an Amiga
3000 with all the money he earned.
- Dead Zeppelin was seen in a local
bar doing reggae versions of Elvis
songs.
- It turns out Grim Reaper is only
12 years old, he went to Radio
Shack and bought a voice changer
to make his voice sound older.
- Fletch was pissed off because he
didn't get to release Chevy Chase.
======================================
Top Priority Issue #01 November 1991